Well, my .sig says that i'm "That Systems Guy." That's probably from when i used to work at the UCSB Library in "Systems" and that's what i was. i fixed stuff. Computers. Servers. Networks. Still do.

i call myself a geek without _too_ much derision. i don't call myself a hacker not because of the bad connotations but because i don't think i'm good enough to do so. i can't code my way out of a paper bag. My scripts are slow and ugly.

i guess i'm a sysadmin now. i kick print queues, change forgotten passwords, nag people about out-of-control mail queues.

But my house is full of computers. Computers on a _network_. i've got stuff that shouldn't be talking to networks on a network. i explained it once, "i just like hooking machines together."

And the response was, "You like doing that with people, too." Hm. She was right. i do this mailing list thing, [bah]. Started out as a way to try and get my friends to go with me to Hong Kong movies, local concerts, whatever. But i always liked it when the discussions turned to more substantial things -- politics, sex, religion, sex ...

Uh...yeah. And you know, back when i was at the library, i had a mailing list there too. And once in a while, that list too would have some good discussions. But even more than discussions, we would arrange activities.

And i think that's what makes [bah] special. i at least _try_ and get the people on the list to get out from behind their computers (although i don't) and meet, face-to-face, the people they've been talking to.

In fact, a lot of the people knew or met each other before they were on [bah]. And that's cool.


Oh, and i'm Asian American. No, i'm Chinese. No, i'm American. And therein lies the rub. i can't decide. Or well, ok, mainly i'm American. i don't speak Chinese. i don't know a lot about Chinese culture. i speak American English. i know scads about American pop culture. Just ask me a question about 80s TV.

But sometimes i get caught up sometimes in the whole As Am, politically correct thang. And i mean, my real problem? i'm too damned impressionable. It's pretty easy to get me to see your point of view. Easy to please? i suppose. And the militants are right, sometimes. Asian Ams _are_ too quiet. We _do_ need to stand up for our rights.

On the other hand, how long can you say, "Yeah, but i'm _Asian_ doesn't that count for something?"


Lately though, i've been getting into Chinese culture. No, make that Chinese pop culture. No, i haven't been listening to Sammi, or wearing shiny polyesther shirts. But ah, HK movies. Not just John Woo action flicks, but the Stephen Chow comedies too. Eh...nah, it's not like i watch or like the melodramas. So it's just another genre. But i was thinking about learning some Cantonese, so i wouldn't have to rely on crummy subtitles.

Still...i think of myself as distinctly Asian. [bah] talks to death a subject like Asian male/White female relationships and movies like "Replacement Killers" and my non-Asian female friend shoots it down with a simple, "Hey, he's [Chow Yun-Fat] a babe. Who cares that he's Asian?"

And wow. To think that we could be babes. Cause it's all about confidence. But it's also like, "Yeah, i could be a babe to an Asian chick, but a White chick? No way. She's gonna look at me and see Charlie fuckin' Chan, Long Duck Dong, Hop fuckin' Sing."

But.

i guess not. Or not so much. Anymore.

Cool.


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